


The Dream

by Kitshunette



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: I'm a horrible person, M/M, and a bit of reincarnation i guess, eeeh, i think, some sort of happing ending, spoilers until chapter 55
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-16 17:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1355623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitshunette/pseuds/Kitshunette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It failed.<br/>Most of them were shot on the spot, but Erwin and Levi were thrown in jail to be executed publicly, for the symbolism, to show everyone what happened when you tried to go against the royal power. And through the door of his cell, Erwin could hear the guards laughing and celebrating the final dismantlement for the Survey Corps, this bunch of crazy people who brought despair and death upon Humanity by going against the taboo.<br/>"Do you think their bodies will turn to dust when they are hung tomorrow? Heard that's how demons die..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I think [this picture](http://kitshunette.tumblr.com/post/80107829922/wingedkuriboh300-illustartion-by-atlantis) fucked up with me way more than it should have *sobs*

 

Erwin could hear the guards drinking and laughing through the thick wooden door and the ridiculous little barred window on its top. Half of the metal had taken the dirty colour of rust and parts of the planks were falling apart in humid rotten bits on the cold stone floor, but no one really cared. The door wasn't even locked.

They knew that Erwin couldn't escape anyway.

"Hey, you think their bodies will turn to dust when they are hung tomorrow? Heard that's how demons die," one of the soldiers snickered, immediately followed by a thunder of laughters from his comrades and mugs clinking together with a clear noise.

"These guys were all insane, should have gotten rid of them way sooner."

"Yeah, we're finally gonna get peace in there. The pastor of my district said that it was because of all their expeditions that the Colossal Titan broke the Walls. Wouldn't have happened if they just kept quiet like everyone else and didn't run around poking things."

"My old man says that they got infected by Titans out there. 'S why they tried to kill the King. Enemies of Humanity, them lot."

"Your old man's a wise guy, Charles. Preach!"

"It's sad the kids were corrupted too, though."

"Are you kidding, didn't you hear how these little fuckers cut through a whole division of royal guards? Didn't kill many though, thanks God. But my sister's husband, he was there, he said that they didn't even look human. Like an evil bunch of demonic monkeys jumping around and trying to destroy us. Weren't human kids, I tell ya. Don't feel bad for them."

A few mumbled groans of approbation punctuated it, and soon the guards were back talking in loud voices about one thing or another, the sound of dice rolling and coins changing hands giving rhythm to the brouhaha at the other side of the corridor leading to Erwin's cell.

Lies. It was all lies.

They never tried to kill the King. They never even attacked the royal guards, at least not in order to force their way in. It was supposed to be a diplomatic meeting, a non-violent way of dealing with things, because Erwin knew that in that case, any spilled drop of blood was another weight leaning them towards defeat.

He had been too confident.

Knowing that his father was right all along, and finally finding a name to blame for his death had misled his judgement, had given him a rage of winning that had caused their demise.

And once again, all that blood was on his hands, the one that was probably dissolved somewhere in Titan's puke, and the one still attached on his body.

As always.

_Are you even human?_

Erwin had heard this question so many times, and had never really answered to anyone. He used to care, at the beginning; he used to spend hours of the night rolling in his bed and staring at the ceiling and at the walls thinking about it. People had always found him unnerving, scary, creepy, because they didn't understand his way of thinking, because the way he was wired was too sharp and focused for them.

He used to look at the mirror and wonder if he was actually human, if he actually had a heart and if people were right and he was a ruthless monster.

And then he had stopped caring, because the only one that really mattered believed in him, because the only one from whom he found himself seeking approbation had never ever doubted his humanity.

Because he had found Levi, and that Levi had trusted him without limits.

 

The guards suddenly fell silent, making Erwin look up curiously. The sound of military boots clicking on the stone floor soon echoed through the window, growing louder and closer until it stopped right behind the door and paused briefly. Erwin heard his visitor pulling out a torch from its stand on the wall, and the warm light of a flame leaked through the rusted bars and the holes in the door a few seconds later.

The door creaked open with a macabre grind, like giant teeth gritting against each other; like a Titan's jaw opening in front of him. There wasn't much light to be blinded by, but Erwin's eyes weren't used to anything brighter than the feeble light of the guards that allowed him to distinguish his hand from his feet on good hours, so he still lifted his arm in front of his eyes to protect them. And when the creaking stopped and Erwin felt confident enough to look around carefully, the room had taken the colours of the fire, the shadows becoming deeper and darker ouside of the light's reach.

His cell looked like a picture of Hell he had once seen in a book.

Hell, right.

Erwin snorted bitterly and reported his eyes on the man standing still at the door.

"Will the King be there tomorrow?"   

"Yes," Nile simply replied, his features expressionless, partly drowned in the shadow of his bangs and giving him the eerie impression of only being half there. For a moment, the two men just stared at each other without a word, the silence heavy between them. Their breaths sounded like hurricanes at his ears, and if he focused enough, Erwin could hear the guards leaning on their chairs and keeping their ears open on the hope of catching what they were saying.

"How did we end up here, Erwin?" Nile quietly asked, just a hint of sadness in his voice. "Where is the future you dreamed for all of us?"

Erwin knew that the question wasn't really one, and he lowered his eyes and fixed them on the dancing light on his palm instead, letting the words hang heavily in the air, waiting. But he didn't look for a response to give; the answer was already in the question anyway.

A dream.

In the end, it was just a dream.

Heels suddenly clicked on the stone again, and Erwin looked up to follow Nile's shiny boots slowly stepping closer to him. Somewhere in the corridor, the guards were sliding along the walls to get closer, their muffled steps and breaths still resounding loudly in the veils of silence surrounding them. They were watching, they were listening. They were prying for a single mistep from Nile to lock him up too in the depths of Sina's jails and never let him see the light ever again.

Erwin knew that Nile was playing a dangerous game by coming to visit him; people knew that they had been friends, good and even very close friends back during their trainee years. And despite his latter choices, they knew that at some point, Nile had been willing to follow Erwin everywhere, inside and outside the walls and even if it meant his own death.

And Erwin knew that his post and life and probably his whole family's survival were holding onto a thin thread, a fragile thread that Nile was twisting a bit more by coming down there. He knew that he was aware of that.

And in spite of it, Nile still came to him, in this time of darkness and at the end of his life. For his last hours, they were going to pick up the broken and torn apart shreds of their friendship and stick them together, and bring back a bit of life in the dark void that Erwin's heart had become, joining up with the only flame that was still burning hard and strong in the middle of nothingness, the flame that had supported him and kept him from drowning in the depths of insanity and despair.

"I," Nile began before pausing and coughing sharply to get rid of the slight shaking in his voice. Erwin looked up at him curiously, and their eyes met for a moment before Nile diverted them and absently stared at a point at Erwin's left. "I came to tell you that the corpses have been burned and the ashes have been dispersed out the walls. I personally looked for that." A pause. "I'm sorry."

_For everything_ , his eyes said, but the words never crossed his lips. There were too many years between them now, too many years of walking on divergent roads that almost made them strangers for each other. Almost. But their paths had eventually found a new crossroad, even if one of them was getting to a dead end.

"I'm sorry," Nile repeated after a moment, barely more than a whisper, emotions slowly leaking back in his voice. It was strange how memories of young and better days could suddenly claw their way back to the surface through years and decades of erasure.

It was sad that it would take Erwin's life for them to finally remember it.

The blonde smiled faintly at his friend.

"Can you do me a favour?"

"Anything," Nile replied immediately, then frowned and blinked a few times, the ghost of a strange fond admiration suddenly rushing through his heart and leaving a taste of sorrow behind it. Like mourning. Mourning for the ghost of the teenager he used to be, looking up at his dazzling best friend and sharing secrets and plans with him in the silence of the bunkers, their whispers being the only sound in the dark night.

But Nile wasn't that teenager anymore, and now he could see where all these dreams had gone, where all this quest for a better life had led the strongest man he had ever known: in a dark little cell, one arm missing, defeated and waiting for his ticket to Hell.

"What kind of favour?" Nile added, quiet, a bit of suspicion in his voice. He did want to help Erwin and ease his last hours, but he absolutely didn't want to be involved in any sort of way in one of his plans. His whole world was swinging left and right on a thin string above an endless abyss, and he knew that every second he spent there sent a another gust of wind against it.

And still, he couldn't bring himself to just turn back and walk away and shut Erwin out of his life, to just leave him behind and go back to his carefully built life and forget.

Forget as he always did. Forget and not think about it and pretend that nothing happened, just like when Mike went missing.

Erwin smirked a little, and Nile's suspicion immediately soared to a peak, making him involuntarily take a step back, as if he could physically avoid the troubles that were most probably going to come out of Erwin's mouth by doing so. Even though he was sure that the blonde had noticed, Erwin didn't comment and simply slid a hand back in his sleeve and fumbled inside, and eventually took out a small thing he had been keeping in the little pocket he had sewn in his shirt. Nile frowned a little and leaned forward to catch a better view of the object. The thing then caught the light of the torch and sent a beam of warm golden radiance around, and Nile felt his barriers shatter and his heart sink a little.

"I was waiting for the right moment," Erwin whispered, his eyes on the little ring and a soft fondness in his voice that Nile had never thought he would see in them. "But I guess there won't be any more moment anyway."

The blonde then looked up at him and their eyes locked, and Nile wondered just how stupid he had been for letting people convince him that the man in front of him had a stone in place of a heart. That this man waiting for his end with calm and dignity sitting in a dark and cold and stinking cell had grown incapable of feelings. Of compassion. Of pity.

Of love.

"Can you please bring this to Levi?" Erwin asked, then slowly stood up and extended his arm in Nile's direction, the shackles around his neck and wrist and ankles clicking together in the movement. The deepness of his voice and the tenderness of his eyes wrenched the MP's heart, making Nile suddenly think of when he had proposed to Marie, of how it had been the best day of his life when she had said yes and when he had taken her in his arms and kissed her.

Of how he would feel if he knew that she were to die the day after, alone, out of his sight.

Nile swallowed painfully, then carefully took the ring from Erwin's open palm without a word. The blonde didn't retract his arm though, and just turned it sideways a little.

"It has been a pleasure to know you, Nile Dawk," he declared solemnly, his voice calm and soothing. Nile stared at the extended hand for a short moment, then wordlessly lifted his own to take Erwin into a firm shake. His skin was warm against his palm.

And the ring felt so heavy and cold in his other hand.

"I will convince the King to have you two executed together," the MP blurted out without thinking, causing them both to look at each other with surprise. For a short second, Nile's instincts sent waves of panic in his veins and he wished he could erase his last sentence. But then, he saw surprise progressively melt from Erwin's face, leaving place to something warmer, to...

... to relief.

And Nile realized that he didn't want to take his words back.

"Thank you," Erwin earnestly said with a small smile, his blue eyes shining softly with gratitude in the firelight.

Nile felt like crying.

_I wish I could do more_ , he wanted to say. _I wish I could give you the opportunity to be happy._

_I wish I had the power to let you live in a better world._

But he said none of these, and just stayed there, the warmth of Erwin's skin against one hand and the cold metal of the ring in the other. He stood there silently until the guards grew uneasy of the silence and their boots clicked closer on the stone.

"I will remember you, Erwin Smith," Nile then whispered in a breath before stepping back and turning away without a look back, walking past a surprised guard and then climbing the stairs two at a time until he came in front of another corridor and another set of soldiers playing dice and cards.

And then he walked straight past them without a look for them, diving back into darkness, his fist clenched around his friend's last wish.

 

*

 

Levi was already standing under the arch when the guards pushed Erwin outside. The bright light of the sun made him groan in pain and shut his eyes with a moan, but his keepers weren't going to let him take his time to adjust and ruthlessly pushed him to make him advance. He almost tripped and fell on the sandy floor of Sina's central place, but he still managed to regain his balance before losing a bit more of his dignity by eating the sand and have the guards kick him and laugh at him.

"Careful, you," a voice suddenly hissed, and he cracked one eye open to see Levi turned back and glaring at the guards with his icy grey eyes. To his biggest satisfaction, the soldiers flinched back and swallowed, uneasy, then grunted a few empty threats before giving a final thrust to Erwin's back and walking back into the ranks of MPs waiting on the side of the alley. Erwin allowed himself to smirk at them with a content smile and took the time to appreciate the rage blatantly displayed on their faces before turning back and looking around.

The place was big and used for any big event hosted by the royal family, from cheerful ones as birthdays and holidays to gloomier ones like executions. It was designed for thousands of people to fit in it, and Erwin could see that the place was at the maximum of its capacity right now, people pressing against the barriers surrounding the gallows that had been raised up in the middle of the place. The gallows with two knots prepared to take two lives.

He had come only once in that place, years ago, to assist to the execution of the head of the Titan worshipping Church. He had barely been a teenager back then, and it had left an indelible mark in him. He remembered that the spectators had screamt and thrown things at the priest, calling him a monster and demanding his agony and eternal suffering in Hell.

"Do you think that they are going to throw tomatoes at us in spite of the famine?" he suddenly asked with a small laugh, his eyes fixed on a man who was now climbing the stairs to the dais with slow steps and a heavy roll of paper in his arm. Erwin immediately recognized the crest on his purple robe and snickered bitterly. Reiss.

"No idea," Levi shrugged next to him. "The call of blood makes people do crazy things."

"Indeed."

They then both fell silent, and the only sound that came to them was the voice of the royal counsellor listing the crimes they were accused of, everytime punctuated by an angry cheer from the crowd.

"These fucking idiots really swallowed everything the royal family told them," Levi grunted with bitterness. Erwin turned his head and really looked at him for the first time since he had been knocked out in the Throne Room and had woken up in a humid dark cell. Levi hadn't changed at all. He never did. His face had never taken a single wrinkle since the moment they had met, his chin had never displayed a single hair and the hard and determined look in his eyes sure hadn't disappeared.

Even in the dirty and torn apart rests of his clothes, Erwin could still see Levi's aura covering him with a soft light that only him could see, and his wings lazily flapping behind him in the fresh air. 

He was beautiful.

"Do you regret anything?" he asked quietly, and Levi looked up at him curiously. "Do you regret following me?"

For a second, Levi just blinked at him, and then a small smile appeared on his lips and Erwin felt his heartbeat speed up a little. Levi's smiles were so rare, and yet at this moment, with the sound of their clocks ticking away towards midnight in the background, Erwin still had the chance to see one.

"Do I look like I regret anything, you stupid old man?" Levi answered softly, his grey eyes catching and reflecting the sunlight like mirrors, and Erwin could see himself in his pupils. "And I got a pretty ring out of the deal, what do I have to complain about?"

And without another word, Levi just reached up and pressed his lips against his, the metal of the shackles around their necks briefly clicking together, and Erwin wished his arm wasn't tied by a solid chain around his body, wished that he could reach out and pull Levi closer to him and embrace him.

"What the fuck are you two doing, move!" a soldier suddenly shouted and Erwin felt a pair of strong arms pulling him back, out of Levi's reach, away from his soft and warm lips. He saw that another guard was doing the same with the shorter man, and for a brief moment Erwin caressed the idea of struggling and trying to free himself and free Levi and run away. But then he met his grey eyes again, and Erwin saw his lips mouthing something at him, and the moment passed and a soldier passed a thick black bag on his head and blinded him.

It was the last time Erwin saw anything. But he never regretted his last vision.

And even when the guards pushed him forward, even when he felt things colliding with him and people screaming at him, even when he felt the knot being passed around his neck, the only thing he could see was Levi smiling at him and mouthing those few words at him.

 

_I love you. See you soon._

***

 

"Hey, Erwin, wake up."

Erwin gasped and shot his eyes open. He squinted at the grey ceiling above his head, unsure of where he was or what was going on or what time it was. He blinked a little and looked around, and was met with worried narrow brown eyes, framed by blond bangs and a giant figure. After a few seconds, Erwin finally felt his brain starting to function again, and he opened his mouth slightly.

"Mike," he croaked out, and he saw relief pass through his comrade's face. He smiled tentatively at him, then turned his head back to the ceiling and rubbed his eyes with tiredness.

And froze.

He slowly pushed his hands away, and was surprised to find little drops of water on them.

"You were crying in your sleep, Erwin," Mike quietly said. "Is everything alright?"

The blond man just stared at his hands without answering for a moment, remnants of the strangely vivid dream he just had coming back to his mind with a bunch of emotions he wasn't quite sure how to deal with.

"I still have two arms," he blurted out, and he caught Mike frown from the corner of his eyes. "I made a weird dream. I lost an arm in battle. And I died."

Mike sighed quietly at his side.

"I have dreams where I die too, sometimes, but it's not real. It's just a dream."

Erwin smirked a little and opened his mouth to reply, but the door of the cabin suddenly barged open on a very agitated and excited Nile.

"Everyone get ready, we are going to arrive soon!"

A short second of stunned silence followed these words, and then the room exploded in cheers and soldiers jumping to their feet and ruthlessly shaking their sleeping comrades awake and grabbing their equipment and suiting up.

"We are arriving," Erwin repeated dumbly, slowly sitting up, and Mike slapped his hand on his back.

"Guess you are finally going to see that guy Liberté in person. How do you picture him? He kind of sounds like an angry cat sometimes."

"I don't really know what to expect from someone using "Liberté" as code name, to be honest," Erwin laughed back. "But he sure has some temper."

"Well, just try not to die on us, okay? It's going to be hard to communicate if you do, you're legitly one of the only guys who speaks more than five words of French."

"Will do, will do."

And with a last friendly slap on his shoulder, Mike stood up and left to grab his bag and put his uniform on, leaving Erwin sitting still on the floor where he was taking a nap, and the blond man absently stared at his right hand and clenched and relaxed his fist a few times. He then angrily shook his head and forced himself to focus on the matter on hands, instead of lingering on a stupid dream, as vivid and real as it had felt.

They had been preparing this for months now, Erwin himself had spent hours sitting in front of a radio to communicate with the local Resistance and refining every single detail of the plan. They weren't allowed to make any mistake. The disembarking couldn't be a failure.

"Normandie," he whispered to himself, rolling the name on his tongue. With every second, he felt adrenaline rush through his veins and his heartbeat progressively speed up, the call of battle making his blood pound in his ears like drums of war.

He jumped on his feet and pulled his bag out from under the pile of craps that had accumulated during the travel in the room, and started equipping himself. He then paused and allowed himself to think a little more about his dream, and something stroke him. He stared with surprise at nothing for a moment, and a little smile appeared on his face.

It was just a dream, where people he knew were present, that wasn't very weird.

Everyone except for one.

And with a small hum, he closed his eyes and tried to picture the short man his dream self had loved more than anything else. He had never seen this face, but he had heard this voice.

Levi had the same voice as Liberté.

And even in the sight of a determinant battle getting closer and closer with each oscillation of the boat, Erwin couldn't help but smile stupidly at the boring and bare wall of the cabin.

 

 

*  


FIN  


*

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading \o/ ♥
> 
> And for those who are still willing to stay a bit...  
> ... LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY [WWII AU](http://kitshunette.tumblr.com/post/85830164887/the-wwii-au-i-was-talking-about-in-the-end-notes) *heavy breathing*
> 
> In the early 20s, Erwin and his parents came for some business in Bordeaux (South-West of France), and it is where Erwin met a little newspaper seller boy going by the name of Levi. Needless to say, the boys grew rather fond of each other through the weeks of Erwin's stay.  
> And then Erwin had to go back to the United States, but he promised to come back later.  
> He actually did.  
> In 1929, his father's business crashed down along so many others, and they had to sell the domain they owned in France. Erwin sailed back to Bordeaux to oversee the transaction, and made a little detour by the orphanage only to be told that Levi had left for Paris with his little siblings a couple of years ago.  
> So Erwin sailed back home, and enrolled in the Army as he had planned.  
> Years later, while WWII was raging, he was called by his superiors as part of a team aiming to prepare the deployement of American forces in Europe, beginning by France. Since he was fluent in French, Erwin was asked to talk with the Resistance in order to plan what would be later known as the Débarquement de Normandie, on June 6th, 1944. All of them used code names, usually just really common names, but one of the Resistants decided that he wanted to be called "Liberté" ("Freedom" in French, for those who were wondering). Somehow, Erwin grew really curious of the guy, of who he was really behind that nickname and that deep and usually annoyed-sounding voice.  
> And then 1944 tadaa guess who it was ahaha *hit*
> 
> (But I also want a story [La Grande Vadrouille](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_grande_vadrouille) like I mean--)  
> (I fucking love this movie okay asxdizenhfr)
> 
> Anyway cookies for you if you read until here heeey 8D *hands cookies*  
> And [my tumblr](http://kitshunette.tumblr.com/) is here for those who wanna talk or whatever!


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